Talking in code

One of my friends said the other day, "Sometimes is sounds like you're talking in code." I laughed, and then I thought about it. By now we all know that me thinking leads to me blogging. What can I say, I'm a savant. Anyways, science is all about jargon; paleo is right up there with the worst - we have anatomical terms, taxonomic names, evolutionary terms, sedimentologic terms, and words made up in fits of arm waving. Dinoturbation. Bring it.

To help out my friend, I've decided to give an insight into the language of paleo so that she can feel more enlightened and less like the art major that she is. Snippets from a typical conversation:

Comment: "I thought you were in China."
Translation: "How're your bitches and hos? I didn't know you were going International."

Comment: "I think we have a new species out of Fort Peck."
Translation: "We've got a good batch, meet me out back at the still at midnight"

Comment: "He didn't please the bishop. They buried him in an old Jesuit Cemetery in Connecticut."
Translation: "I don't think we're going to get a good crop of tomatoes out of the garden this summer. We need more cow shit."

Comment: "When you've got someone who can pay for it, you might as well do it."
...Yeah, that's not code...

Comment: "Don't forget how to use chopsticks"
Translation: "Tell your mom she was awesome last night."

See, we're all easy going, well mannered, thoughtful, and insightful people. Sometimes you just have to look through the rough exterior.