Making fun of undergraduates on the University of Colorado campus is one of my favorite pass times. It's really not that hard as they make easy targets, rather like mullet-spotting in a Appalachian Walmart. The way they dress is what amuses me the most - the ridiculous heels, the furry boots with bouncing tassels, the climate-inappropriate outfits of miniskirts, halter tops and Uggs. The emo guys are amusing, but I derive much more entertainment from the females. Endless entertainment. Granted its entertainment in a raging, ridiculing, loss of hope for the future of humanity kind of way, but its entertainment nonetheless.
I was in the field last week along the Colorado-Utah boarder. Its badlands, but its also cattle, sheep, and horse country. And this gave me a brilliant idea to control the undergraduate population - at least those that are a danger to the gene pool. Cattle guards. With strategically placed cattle guards along the campus sidewalks, we could control the herd. Similar to how cows won't cross a cattle guard because of the widely spaced metal bars, girls won't cross because of the stilettos they feel the need to wear to class. This will take care of the summer problem. As for winter (or those climate-inappropriate days), I suggest releasing horny marmots which will naturally be attracted to the furry boots.